Believing God for hummus and a knife 

“A chai tea and a wheat bagel with hummus to go, please.” Voices behind me grew louder and the girls in front of me got busier. I stood aside waiting for my freshly brewed fix. As I rounded the parking lot I thought, “I really hope she didn’t forget the hummus. Sometimes they do that. Should I pull over and…

my semi-dramatic 7 a.m. existential crisis [But God]

Senior year of college, last first week of school, EVER, I woke up in a panic. Not because I was late to class (shockingly), not because I wanted to change my major (thank you, God) and not because I missed an assignment (phew). I woke up panicked because in the time between my toes curling…

unpacking the fridge

Can you imagine waking up, getting ready to leave for work and your spouse or your parent saying, “Hey, before you head out the door make sure to leave everything here. Leave your keys and phone, leave your purse and lunch, put your money on the counter, and don’t bother bringing any extra clothes for the gym,…

p e r s p e c t i v e & a n x i e t y

When things happen in life, like a job loss, an unexpected death, a failed marriage, heart break, mental illness or sickness, oftentimes anxiety has a way of seeping in. But, if we shift our perspective, it doesn’t have to. We must remind ourselves of the bigger picture–the heavenly vision of God. God knows all the ups and…

The Cost of Closeness

In three years, one laptop, two iPhones, one passport, one pair of eyeglasses, one pair of Ray Bans, a purse and a wallet were stolen. Throughout the process of these years, the Holy Spirit said, “don’t hold tightly to anything in this world.” Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone…

When Feelings Fight You

For a couple months I’ve struggled with this subtle sensation of not belonging. I’ve felt uncomfortable in this new season of life. I’ve felt uncomfortable in typical social settings. I’ve felt unsettled in my own skin. This new season brought me to a place of letting go of more things than I knew I needed…

Pity Party

Have you ever been hurt? Ever been so depressed or pained that you chose to stay in bed a little longer or get to bed five hours too early? Ever chose isolation over hugs because you didn’t want anyone interrupting your time of saturating sadness? Me too. Sometimes, before I even got out of bed, the sadness completely engulfed…

12 Things I Never Knew About Grace

Grace teaches me to live my life before an audience of One, disinterested in the lofty and lowly opinions of others. Grace reminds me “I am fearfully and wonderfully made” (even when a fancy personality test validates major character flaws I’ve been denying). Grace joyfully persists in the seemingly impossible task of making me more like Jesus. Grace says,…

When The Path Seems Pointless

Ever wondered why God is taking so long to bring your dreams to life, or if He even will? During a recent “woe is me” episode (yes, another one), I stumbled upon “The Tale of The Three Trees.” I dug into the whimsical, worry-free pages of childhood and shed more tears than I’ll admit, as…

Declaring Your Identity in Prayer

Holy and Good Father, Forgive me for setting my heart on the things of this world, For defining myself by earthly standards and skills. I repent from thinking on what is not of You, And for reaching for my old, tattered garments. Holy Spirit, make known to me the reality of who my Father is,…

When The Mop Bucket Spills

Yesterday, I spent a lot of time mopping the floors. They’ve been getting unusually dirty, trapped under a filmy, stubborn slime of sin, accusation and doubt. After each mopping, the residue created an even dirtier concoction of water in my tattered bucket. The murky liquid gave a nauseating stench of self-rejection. ” … [My dark…

The Process and Pain of (Mis)Understanding

Living in a foreign country has me feeling like a misunderstood teenager again. Since coming here, I developed a habit of haranguing heaven with “God, when will you let me understand why you’ve brought me to Spain? Why did you extract me from my element, country and place of comfort? How much longer until I…