The Trouble With Pain

Somehow C.S. Lewis wrote an entire book about how the existence of pain proves that God is real and that God is good. (I’m paraphrasing.) He says that considering something painful proves that pain is not the norm. If all of life was just a constant state of suffering then we would not call pain…

In the Land of Grief: The Lion Roars

The hues of death take me to lands I’ve never before traveled. Mountains of grief snatch air from my chest the higher I climb. Valleys of sorrow hide the sun from my face. Who are you, Death? What have you done to my family? Have you come solely for the purpose of breaking our hearts?…

In the Land of Grief: I Look Up

Like a man stranded on an island Hobbling through the coarse sand. My thoughts dense as the thundering rain clouds rolling in. Falling back, I look to the sky Because nothing down here can help me. Waving my arms wide and weak Trying to hail a plane Trying to hail God. It’s a cry for help And an…

Grief at Arm’s Length 

Looking on His limp body, I know He knows the exhaustion. My insides feel limp. His arms span the length of my aching.  All of me held together.                                He says nothing, yet He speaks volumes.  I know He knows—  …

Because He Is

Because He is my strength, I am able to get out of bed in the morning. Because He is my rock, I am not sinking into depression. Because He is my shield, I am not pierced by worry or fear. Because He is the One who ran to my dad with arms wide open, my family…

Finding Peace in Life’s Debris

Last week,  I saw countless Facebook friends sharing their results from “find out the status update you will be posting in ten years.” As I scrolled through the comical posts,  I wondered what made this so popular. What else could it be other than our secret desire to flip to the last page of our lives and…

Stubbornness and Baby Bottles

For as good and loving as I know God to be, I often resist Him. Like a toddler, I clutch my bottle of independence as a fierce display of my ability to hold something on my own. But God sees through me. He knows I can’t do it. So He waits. He waits until the crippling sensation…

Looking Like Mom and Hiding in Her Skirts

At three years old, I was painfully shy. So shy that no matter where my mom was, two tiny Keds and two high heeled shoes stood under the same flowy skirt. Of course what seems odd now, wasn’t then. As a child, all I knew was I had to be close to my mom. If I wasn’t so close…

Crossing the Bridge on Good Friday

I collapsed. Exhausted from the chase of everything that can’t satisfy. Blackness. Not even sleep could help me escape the misery of who I was. Each time I resolved to do better, I fell back again and again. Bleak hopelessness encompassed my world. I couldn’t go on. Then, in the darkness I heard rustling. Voices…

Moving Past Disobedience and Failure

  Perhaps the most agonizing part about disobedience is waiting around for another opportunity to prove yourself faithful. Think back to your schooling days. You took a test, waited a few days and received your results. As test scores hit your peers’ desks, students either sat up straight with confidence or slumped lower in disappointment….

When God Leads You Where You Don’t Want to Go

As I walk into this realization that God sometimes leads us where we do not want to go, my soul is torn. I hold both shock and joy, frustration and humility. I ask myself, “How could God call me somewhere I do not want to go? Isn’t He a good God? Isn’t He my friend? Isn’t…

Running Out of Words and Moving Forward

Turning around, I locked eyes with the trashed 1990s Mercedes parked down the street. “That’s my finish line.” Heel toe, heel toe, heel toe. Excessive pants because I’m out of shape. Seconds into the sprint– “It’s too far. You’re not ready. You can’t make it.” Heel toe, heel toe. Hands on hips. Heel        …