In the Land of Grief: The Lion Roars

The hues of death take me to lands I’ve never before traveled. Mountains of grief snatch air from my chest the higher I climb. Valleys of sorrow hide the sun from my face. Who are you, Death? What have you done to my family? Have you come solely for the purpose of breaking our hearts?…

Grief at Arm’s Length 

Looking on His limp body, I know He knows the exhaustion. My insides feel limp. His arms span the length of my aching.  All of me held together.                                He says nothing, yet He speaks volumes.  I know He knows—  …

Stubbornness and Baby Bottles

For as good and loving as I know God to be, I often resist Him. Like a toddler, I clutch my bottle of independence as a fierce display of my ability to hold something on my own. But God sees through me. He knows I can’t do it. So He waits. He waits until the crippling sensation…

Looking Like Mom and Hiding in Her Skirts

At three years old, I was painfully shy. So shy that no matter where my mom was, two tiny Keds and two high heeled shoes stood under the same flowy skirt. Of course what seems odd now, wasn’t then. As a child, all I knew was I had to be close to my mom. If I wasn’t so close…

Crossing the Bridge on Good Friday

I collapsed. Exhausted from the chase of everything that can’t satisfy. Blackness. Not even sleep could help me escape the misery of who I was. Each time I resolved to do better, I fell back again and again. Bleak hopelessness encompassed my world. I couldn’t go on. Then, in the darkness I heard rustling. Voices…

When Feelings Fight You

For a couple months I’ve struggled with this subtle sensation of not belonging. I’ve felt uncomfortable in this new season of life. I’ve felt uncomfortable in typical social settings. I’ve felt unsettled in my own skin. This new season brought me to a place of letting go of more things than I knew I needed…